Tractor Photos

I apologize. I take terrible pictures. Tessa got some cute ones though. The little boy is one I babysit sometimes. Josh took us for a ride after a work BBQ.

Blubblering

I just need to vent again. So slice some cheese and I'll pour the whine. So I got a call today from my employer that she may not be employed until July 25th, if at all. Josh starts school in June so I have to find work, again. Did I mention I just quit babysitting for someone else so I could go back to work for her? It isn't her fault and I am not blaming anyone, I am just frustrated with everything in general. All I want to do, and all that I have wanted to do since I was a little girl was stay home and be a mommy. I just want to have another baby. We have prayed and decided to put it off until he is done with school. We are down to the final months!! YAY!! Of course it can't just go smoothly. I just need to work for 3 blasted months and then I can CHOOSE whether I want to work or not!! I know, my life is simply and not difficult compared to many, or pretty much everyone else. But hey, it's my life and my problems and I can stress about them, no matter how big or small. Really, I like having a job and earning money, but I will not forfeit raising Jaylie to do that. That is why I choose to babysit instead of getting a day job. I plan to continue babysitting too if I can while I raise my kids.*sigh* When I write it down it really isn't such a big deal. At least Josh has a good job/career that he loves and we are all healthy and able to work. I realize I am being ungrateful for what we do have and focusing on the small things we are struggling with right now. It will all be over in a few months anyway. Better start looking for some work...

you were always on my mind

I hate that song, thanks to Practical Magic which totally made it creepy. Anyway, we just found out last night that my father-in-law who is in Afghanistan lost good friends and co-workers to a suicide bomber. As one can imagine, he is anxious to be home next week and feels their loss. I don't understand it. My brain can fathom how someone can be brainwashed into killing people, but my heart cannot. I find myself asking why? What is the point? Life is such a fragile thing. With cancer raging, viruses and bacterias that cause illness that do not react to drugs, not to mention time being a killer. My how fast time goes! But to think that we must take caution against a stranger sitting in a room with you because he has a bomb strapped to his chest? I am so grateful for the safety of this country! I am thankful for the men and women who fight to keep this a safe country. Aren't we all fighting to keep it safe? Fighting to be good citizens, good neighbors and friends. My heart aches for the families who lost loved ones. My heart aches for my father-in-law, who I freely call dad, because I love him as such, and he has loved me as his daughter. I can only imagine the loss he feels when a familiar face is no longer there to greet him in the office, or to work out with him in the gym. Absence perhaps brings the greatest feeling of loss. I remember after my grandpa died, my grandma notice his scriptures on the dresser, which he was never without. Before remembering he was gone, she picked them up and said, "Eldge, you forgot your scriptures!" It is difficult to set to mind that one day we are here, and the next we may be gone. I am grateful for the knowledge that we will be re-united, and being separated by death is really only a short wink in time. Even that knowledge doesn't ebb the pain that loss brings. Peace be unto you who sorrow, my heart goes out to you all. My heart aches for dad. I look forward to wrapping my arms around him and welcoming him home. Until then, he is in my thoughts and prayers.



ps I posted before and after pictures of the house on FB and am not feeling inclined to include them here unless otherwise notified it is necessary.

remodel

Well, I have lost weight and sleep over remodeling this house. I have learned many new skills including how to go into a trance-like state to continue working when my body has no more to give. I have learned/how to: Demo(personal fav), refinish hardwood floors, dump 2,000 lbs in an hour(girls rock!), spray texture, caulk, tape off and paint(although I had a meltdown when the paint looked streaky as it was drying but it turned out ok), Sheetrock, mud, and a whole lot of sanding. Also, I have learned that when someone has the idea to do a remodel, make sure they are around to actually help. I am very pleased with the outcome so far and am glad that we could help Josh's parents with their investment. I think it will be a good transition house for us to live in before we buy a house. We will have a house-warming party someday and invite all those who have helped so much and have had to listen to me complain. No one will be more happy to have this project done than Jaylie ( I am a very close second, if not a tie...). I will post finished pictures as soon as I take them...so quite possibly never. no I really will, someday.