Apr 18, 2011

you were always on my mind

I hate that song, thanks to Practical Magic which totally made it creepy. Anyway, we just found out last night that my father-in-law who is in Afghanistan lost good friends and co-workers to a suicide bomber. As one can imagine, he is anxious to be home next week and feels their loss. I don't understand it. My brain can fathom how someone can be brainwashed into killing people, but my heart cannot. I find myself asking why? What is the point? Life is such a fragile thing. With cancer raging, viruses and bacterias that cause illness that do not react to drugs, not to mention time being a killer. My how fast time goes! But to think that we must take caution against a stranger sitting in a room with you because he has a bomb strapped to his chest? I am so grateful for the safety of this country! I am thankful for the men and women who fight to keep this a safe country. Aren't we all fighting to keep it safe? Fighting to be good citizens, good neighbors and friends. My heart aches for the families who lost loved ones. My heart aches for my father-in-law, who I freely call dad, because I love him as such, and he has loved me as his daughter. I can only imagine the loss he feels when a familiar face is no longer there to greet him in the office, or to work out with him in the gym. Absence perhaps brings the greatest feeling of loss. I remember after my grandpa died, my grandma notice his scriptures on the dresser, which he was never without. Before remembering he was gone, she picked them up and said, "Eldge, you forgot your scriptures!" It is difficult to set to mind that one day we are here, and the next we may be gone. I am grateful for the knowledge that we will be re-united, and being separated by death is really only a short wink in time. Even that knowledge doesn't ebb the pain that loss brings. Peace be unto you who sorrow, my heart goes out to you all. My heart aches for dad. I look forward to wrapping my arms around him and welcoming him home. Until then, he is in my thoughts and prayers.

ps I posted before and after pictures of the house on FB and am not feeling inclined to include them here unless otherwise notified it is necessary.