May 2, 2011

Blubblering

I just need to vent again. So slice some cheese and I'll pour the whine. So I got a call today from my employer that she may not be employed until July 25th, if at all. Josh starts school in June so I have to find work, again. Did I mention I just quit babysitting for someone else so I could go back to work for her? It isn't her fault and I am not blaming anyone, I am just frustrated with everything in general. All I want to do, and all that I have wanted to do since I was a little girl was stay home and be a mommy. I just want to have another baby. We have prayed and decided to put it off until he is done with school. We are down to the final months!! YAY!! Of course it can't just go smoothly. I just need to work for 3 blasted months and then I can CHOOSE whether I want to work or not!! I know, my life is simply and not difficult compared to many, or pretty much everyone else. But hey, it's my life and my problems and I can stress about them, no matter how big or small. Really, I like having a job and earning money, but I will not forfeit raising Jaylie to do that. That is why I choose to babysit instead of getting a day job. I plan to continue babysitting too if I can while I raise my kids.*sigh* When I write it down it really isn't such a big deal. At least Josh has a good job/career that he loves and we are all healthy and able to work. I realize I am being ungrateful for what we do have and focusing on the small things we are struggling with right now. It will all be over in a few months anyway. Better start looking for some work...

3 comments:

Stefanie D. said...

I like your blubbering. You are totally reasonable, and coherent. Me on the other hand, I turn in to an irrational crazy person when I start! I am so sorry that things aren't quite going your way. I feel you. Just when you really need something to go perfectly, you always when thrown a fast ball. Life is great, right?? Love you!! You are such a great Mommy by the way, that little Jaylie is a lucky girl. :)

Kristen and Alex said...

Bummer! I am so sorry. I wish I was working full time so that I could hire you but I love being a stay at home mom too. I am sure you will find something because you always do. You will be in my prayers. And I say...go ahead and VENT! That is what a blog is for! VENT AWAY!!! I think I need to make a second blog just for venting. :-) I'll keep my eyes and ears open for you.

Smiler said...

I love to hear you vent. I feel for you!!!!! I will pray that you will find something. I know what you mean when you say that you write it down and then it doesn't sound so bad. I would write about how terrible my life was or my day in my journal and then by the end I was saying how grateful I was for everything I had. It was like two different people writing. Maybe I am a little crazy :). I think this is why journal writing is so wonderful for me because by the end I can always see how blessed I am. We are very blessed and I have to say that I am grateful for my trials because when I look at other peoples I don't want to have theirs! Love you so much. Faith is the key!