I have nothing specific to write about but feel the need to express some emotion. That is one of the joys of being a woman, I have more emotions than I know what do with. Frustration, angst, annoyance, gratitude, awe, sorrow, bliss, inadequacy...within a 3 minute span! The things that frustrate me seem to last forever and the happy things are only moments. How to prolong the sweet and dispense with the sour? I suppose it is all a matter of focus. So what do I do? I eat chocolate covered almonds/raisins. Or I turn to a book and lose myself in the story. Not the most health-conscience way of dealing I admit. Ok, Krista, focus on the good!
-Josh only has 30 school days or 7.5 weeks! I am going on a week long trip with him the day after graduation(back to IL where John Deere is based, with his class, all males :\ ). This will be a once in a lifetime opportunity for him and he invited to share it with me! How I love that man!
- Let's see, I have a job that I love! It doesn't cover the bills but it is better than nothing!
-I paid off the credit card (we had to charge tuition to it until FAFSA went through) with the check from FAFSA and my paycheck.
-I have a beautiful little girl whom I adore and get to be home with everyday to watch her grow and learn.
-I have a beautiful home (to rent until we are ready to buy a house).
-We are all healthy (no major illnesses aside from a little goofitis now and again ;))
There is much more but this will give me something to re-read and focus on for the next few weeks. That should help me balance some of the emotions, I hope. I often wonder why I experience such a pallet of feelings? To make the sweet seem sweeter? So I appreciate it when I feel happiness? I must admit, my life is fairly easy when compared to others. God only gives us what we can handle right? Apparently I can't handle much, because my trials are far less painful than many of those around me. Yet some days I feel I am barely keeping my nose out of the water. Breathe. Just breathe. I am thankful I have the blessing to go to the temple and get a priority assessment. Typically the things I worry so much about don't equal a drop in the cup-of-tea-of-life. A question: Are we drinking the tea or pouring it? When we drink the last drop of tea-of-life and our cup is empty are we done? Or are we slowly filling our cups with the tea-of-life and when it is full to capacity are we finished fulfilling what we came to do? I guess it is my analogy and I can make it go either way.
You know how they say some thoughts are deep? How do we measure the depth of thought? Does everyone have deep thoughts tucked away in the recesses of their minds, waiting to be fished out and shared with the world? Is some great theory or invention lost in the recesses of my mind waiting to be shown the light? If so it may need a flashlight. I doubt I will be surfacing any greatness anytime soon, or later for that matter. In fact, I just ran out of inspiration...
5 years ago